The Hardest Thing
by kindofafangirl
Summary: After a traumatizing adventure on Krop Tor, the Doctor has one thing to tell Rose "Oh, she knows." He had told Ida Scott, but did she? And can he tell her? Doctor/Rose.


**AN: Hey there! This is a new fic of mine, probably a one-shot but who knows, I really like the idea. This takes place after The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit and obviously is Doctor/Rose. Enjoy!**

Possibly the hardest thing the Doctor had done that day was going into the pit. It wasn't facing the devil inside, no that was easy in comparison and just all in a day's work as he and Rose later joked. It wasn't even the fall he took to meet the beast. No, neither of these things were the hardest he'd done that day. The worst part was that he didn't do anything. Nothing at all.

When he was about to let go of that rope, unhooking himself from the one thing he was sure was keeping him alive the hardest thing was trying to send that message to Rose. "Tell her..." the Doctor had said, but the words never came. Only three words that the Doctor had known since that pink and yellow human of his had chosen to stay at the Game Station (though he later sent her back... and she later stared into the heart of the TARDIS and returned.) At least that was when he found the name for the feelings that had been following him since first seeing her, surrounded by Nestine controlled dummies in the basement of Henricks and told her to run. Oh, those feelings had followed, chasing him and Rose from the end of planet Earth to Cardiff (in both the 19th and 21st centuries) the London Blitz, and Van Stadden's museum. But it was that moment, facing death by millions of Daleks that the Doctor realized what he felt for Rose Tyler.

He only kissed her once. At least in that body. Rose had looked into the heart of the TARDIS, just to come back to the Doctor and not knowing the power she would hold. He then saw his Rose, saving the world and defeating the daleks again, but the power was killing her. To remove the time vortex from her head (or at least that's what he had told himself) he had kissed the vortex out of her. If he were about to die and regenerate why not make the last actions of his body be what it had been dreaming of doing since he met her? When he regenerated he had scared her half to death, but when she realized that the Doctor was still him, it was back to the TARDIS and they lived happier, the Doctor finally recovering from the guilt and despair the Time War had brought.

Once Mickey had left, the Doctor wanted so hard to tell her, to scream those words but he decided to wait. He and Rose had so much fun all the same and seemed even happier together, but the Doctor was scared. Sure, a hundred daleks, a thousand cybermen? Easy. But telling Rose his feelings were so much harder. Maybe Rose only wanted to be his friend. The Doctor knew that if that was all she wanted, he would still live that happy life with her for as long as she wanted. What if she wanted to get away? That was harder because the doctor knew he wouldn't go any further if that happened. Without Rose Tyler he most likely would have lost purpose in life soon after the Nestenes. In fact, he wouldn't even be alive. The Doctor knew that purpose would be lost if Rose Tyler was and he was scared to risk that. Even if she did like him back though, how would they keep a relationship? Rose Tyler was a human with an eighty year lifespan while the Doctor was a 903 year old alien who had quite a few more centuries left on biological clock.

That was why, in that pit when the Doctor was about to convey that message he never finished it. He was still too scared to share those feelings, even in a moment that could be one of his last. "Tell her..." he said and the three words came so close to his lips, but wouldn't come. He tried so hard to let the words out, but he was silent in the end. "...Oh she knows" he ended. But the truth was that she wouldn't know. Not unless he told her. That was the hardest part, not letting Rose Tyler know how much he loved her.

* * *

It was later that day, after returning Ida in exchange for Rose far away from that black hole that the two of them, exhausted and relieved and still grinning like madmen yet again went through their post-life threatening encounter tradition: eating chips. This time, they had found a diner in the 42nd century on one of the Earth colonies on the asteroid belt. It was a quaint little place, just one little building on the asteroid with a parking garage. Of course, the Doctor hadn't aimed for this diner, in fact he was trying to go to the 23rd century McDonalds that was on Mars. He wasn't going to tell Rose that of course, but he found that he rather liked this diner. The chips were much better and the view was very spectacular.

The two of them sat there with their chips, each with something else on their mind. The Doctor was still contemplating those words he almost said, while Rose was thinking something else entirely, but the Doctor knew what it was. "What do you think it meant, when it said I will die in battle?" Rose asked, her voice trying to remain calm and cheerful despite it's worry. "How would it know? I mean, I suppose it could look it up in the future, but its not like it knows my time line. Does it?"

"I dunno" The Doctor said, like Rose trying not to worry. "I suppose it might have also been playing on your fears as well as the others. Why battle though?"

"I think it means with you." Rose said, dropping her eyes to the plate of golden chips in between the two of them.

"With me?"

Rose blushed. "Well, I'm a little scared something will happen one day and you'll be on your own."

The Doctor froze. "Are you trying to say you're scared of dying in battle just because it'll leave me on my own?"

"Yeah. 'Cause Doctor, you need someone to be there for you. You might not look as lonely as you did when we met, back when you had those big ears, but I still see it in your eyes. I might not be able to get rid of the loneliness of being the last of your kind, but you don't need to live the rest of your life alone. You have Sarah Jane and K-9 and you have Mum (as much as she wants to deny it) and most important of all: you have me." Rose blushed again, but instead of averting her eyes, she looked to the Doctor straight in the face.

It was then that the Doctor realized he could do it. He could finally tell her those words he had wanted to shout at her for oh so long. And it wasn't the fear of never seeing her again that gave him this courage. No. Instead it was the happiness that came with Rose's declaration. It was then the Doctor spoke, with the knowledge that his own declaration came not from the fear of having no time left with this beautiful girl, but from knowing that they had as long as they wanted together.

"Rose Tyler." The Doctor spoke slowly, drawing out his words, "I love you."

For a moment, all was quiet. The Doctor felt a feeling of relief and happiness at finally saying those words. He smiled, but on the inside he wanted to jump for joy at the sound of saying those words out loud and laugh and run around like a mad man (though he tended to do that a lot already). God it felt so good to say, but then he remembered his worries and looked at the face of one Rose Tyler. That was when he knew he was wrong about two things he tried to tell Ida. The first was the idea that he would confess his love of Rose Tyler to anyone but her first. The second thing he had wrong was what he had said aloud, because from the look on Rose Tyler's face she didn't know half of his feelings until this moment. Because then, with that smile that only Rose wore, she said words that made him even happier than what he had told her.

"Doctor, I love you too."

And the Doctor smiled, because sometimes, the hardest things to do in life were the very best.

**Alright then! What do you think? I'm afraid this is my first time writing Doctor Who so please feel free to tell me if they seem a little OOC or if I made a really bad spelling mistake. Or if you like it. Or hate it. Please review!**


End file.
